Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Where Did All The Fun Go?

Where did all of the fun go? Being mentally ill used to be so much fun; the highs (and lows, unfortunately), the extremes, in spending, indulging, self-abuse. Waking up not knowing what the day might bring; will I get mad, dad, even, aggressive, depressed, suicidal. Will you hurt your friends and family, will you burn relationship bridges, will you make a fool of yourself during a manic episode? Who knows?

After a while, the fun wears off. It's no longer exciting and fresh; now you know what to expect, becuse it always turns out the same. The only variable is how high you go, and how far you crash. Once you realize this, and the disease becomes real, you become one of us. (Actually you always have been, it's just that now you finally realize it)

Winston Churchill
You're in good company with the likes of:
            Abraham Lincoln     
            Buzz Aldrin  
            Jimi Hendrix   
            Mark Twain
            Winston Churchill     
            Patty Duke   
            Vincent Van Gogh     
            Virginia Woolf 
            Wolfgang Amadeus Motzart      
            Richard Dreyfus         
            Hans Christian Anderson     
                                                            Sir Isaac Newton                        

So raise your banner high and, when you aren't able, be with those who can raise it for you. NAMI, DBSA, Psych Central and MD Junction are a few I visit regurlarly. They can give great volume to your voice.

Remember, you're in this with many others. Your not alone. You never are. Ever.

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