Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Damn. It is 11:45 am, and I am still awake. I need to take my meds by 8:00, and I didn't take them until nearly 10:00. I don't know why, but when I do this, sleeps comes much later. I require at least 8, preferably 9-10 hours. Less than that I can be a real SOB in the morning. Damn.


  1. Mike, I hope you got some rest!

    I have been praying my butt off for my bipolar friend. I am interested in the relationship between having bipolar and believing in God. The darkness that comes over my friend is such that he is so full of hate (it seems) that I wonder if God can speak through it. (He is God, of course.) He is so distant right now (the friend) and he seems to hate me. I keep praying, but it is so hard. Is it hard to believe in a good and loving God who allows this kind of pain in your life? My friend was more open to God when he was happy a few months ago, but I watched that friend disappear and I am so heart broken. Do you have any thoughts? He seems "happy" but he isn't talking to me, so I don't know.

  2. Mike, you're not alone. Struggling with how a good God would allow his children to struggle like this. I know there's a lot of great books out there. Might have to pick up "The Problem of Pain." by C.S. Lewis. I think I might have read it at one time. Hang in there. Know that you're not alone. Thoughts and prayers brother.