It is one thing to talk about Bipolar Disorder from the outside looking in. When your medications are spot-on, and your actions are, for lack of a better term, "normal", it can be fun and therapeutic to talk about your experiences. However, the scene changes a lot when you talk about your experiences from the inside looking out. Actually, when looking from the inside looking out, there is no outside; you are in the throes of your illness, and there is no time, no effort, no reality in trying to look out. This is where I am, and have been for months now.
Being in this position sucks. Right now I am just going through the motions, bit it feels like I am going down the rabbit hole, slowly losing site of the entrance. It scares me not knowing how this will turn out. There are many possible outcomes, most of which aren't positive. But they are there and they are real.
CRAP! I am feeling like that now too. you're right on the money, when the meds work, it's great and we can even laugh at ourselves. I am living in Paradise, let me preface this. I live between Cancun and Playa in Mexico. I have NOTHING to fear, to be down about ,, but I am sinking so rapidly it is not funny.
ReplyDeleteI have just started with a shrink here in Playa, and seroquel and lamictal and a good dose of xanax are keeping me alive.
I can't afford the meds down here, its nuts. I am not supposed to be feeling like this. Where's your rabbit hole...
actually i see that you posted that two years ago. are you alive? what did you do? I have a question. do you think that if beer works to alleviate the symptoms, am I not better off to have that than Xanax? or klonopin etc.? I don't get drunk. i just drink a few at night to feel sleepy enough with my seroquel to stay asleep all night. My shrink and wife would freak if they found out I fell off the wagon.
ReplyDeleteactually i see that you posted that two years ago. are you alive? what did you do? I have a question. do you think that if beer works to alleviate the symptoms, am I not better off to have that than Xanax? or klonopin etc.? I don't get drunk. i just drink a few at night to feel sleepy enough with my seroquel to stay asleep all night. My shrink and wife would freak if they found out I fell off the wagon.
ReplyDeleteCRAP! I am feeling like that now too. you're right on the money, when the meds work, it's great and we can even laugh at ourselves. I am living in Paradise, let me preface this. I live between Cancun and Playa in Mexico. I have NOTHING to fear, to be down about ,, but I am sinking so rapidly it is not funny.
ReplyDeleteI have just started with a shrink here in Playa, and seroquel and lamictal and a good dose of xanax are keeping me alive.
I can't afford the meds down here, its nuts. I am not supposed to be feeling like this. Where's your rabbit hole...
Thanks for giving a voive to my feelings!I can totally relate. Was diagnosed when I was 18. I'm now 28 and I try to write about my darkest experiences in a humorous light. Rejection, loneliness, alienation, even "madness" http://adviceforthemad.blogspot.co.za/2015/09/how-i-lost-my-first-tinder-date.html?m=1
ReplyDelete