Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Are You Content?

Being bipolar is hard; I think we can all agree. But I wouldn't want it to go away and, even if there was a cure, I wouldn't want it. For the first time in my life I know why I am the way I am. For years I went through life wondering why I did the things I did, all of the time just thinking that I was different. Well I was, and I am, and that thing I've been toting around for most of my life has a name; it's called Bipolar.

Even though I have only know about my illness for 14 years, I have been Bipolar my entire life. How I am is all that I've ever know. It is too late to become someone else. I don't want to be "normal" Winston, for that would involve becoming someone I am not, someone I have never even known.

I am 51 years old, and this life is all I've ever known. So leave me alone, let me be who I am. If there ever is a cure, please let it pass me by. I'm just fine, thank you.

How about you? Would you ever want to change? Do you like being among those that are special, that are gifted with a mind that can run circles (mania) around most people, and only requres a little "down time" (depression) to recover

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