Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Friday, November 21, 2008

My Church Is a Battlefield

My church is a battlefield. In 1968, my mother wrote an article that was published in Redbook magazine entitled "Our Home Is a Battlefield". It described, anecdotally, our home and the goings-on inside. We were very typical, but she was able to compare my relationship with my sister with opposing sides of a battle.

Unfortunately, the battle taking place in my church is real, and shares many characteristics with a real battle; you know, one with fighting, swords, knives and the such. However, the majority of this conflict takes place behind the scenes, as in a war room. In our congregations preparation for war, there is no chain-of-command, and the enlisted soldiers are running the show. At least they think they are.

People in a church environment are some of the most mean, deceitful people I have ever met. The devil works the most where he is not wanted, and he certainly does his bidding there. I pray I can stand my ground, and weather this storm.

This is not a great environment for a bipolar person. As an ultradian cycler, it is very difficult to stay steady when my moods can change many times each day. And, as my fellow rapid-cyclers know, we aren't always on a regular schedule. Sometimes it takes all of my strength to get through the day. I try to "time" by episodes with my activities, but that is an impossible venture.

More later ...


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