Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Guess I'll Lose My Mind

Hey everyone, I just received some breaking news! Ever since I was diagnosed in 1994, I wondered what would happen. Maybe you have also. I mean, where will it end? Will your present state of mind stay the same, or will it get better or worse? You're bipolar now and you'll be bipolar until your last breath. But where that last breath is drawn, you can't possibly know.

Now the news: I know. I just found out. I now know how my mind will be at the end of my life. Actually, I might know how it will be for the years prior to my death. About two months ago my pDoc started me on Aricept, which is used to treat mild to moderate dementia. These made me sick to my stomach and (you'll know what I mean) sick to my head. I stopped taking them and, at my next pDoc visit, was told to begin taking them again, along with Namenda, a med used to treat the symptoms of Alzheimer's. He also increased my Adderall by 20 mg. (If I don't die of "old age" I'll probably die of liver failure.)

I did learn one interesting fact while doing endless hours of researching my latest "situation". Early-Onset Alzheimer's is the beginning of the symptoms when the person is over 65. Younger-Onset Alzheimer's is what it's called when the disease affects a person 65 or younger.

I enjoy learning new things, but I don't particularly enjoy it when it has to become a part of my life first. 


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