Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Here We Go Again

Well, here we go again. I don't know why I should be surprised, but I always am. I cruise at "normal" for a while, and I guess I subconsciously think this is where I'll stay. Now, don't get me wrong; it isn't exactly Nirvana. I still experience the highs and lows associated with Bipolar Disorder, but they are much less high and low.

Unfortunately in my case, when medicated and "level", the amplitude of the occurrences are less, but the frequency is increased. I am a rapid cycler (Ultradian Bipolar) with cycles occurring as often as 3-4 times each day.
I can go from extremely excited to crying in an instant.

Right now I am going stir-crazy (sorry); I can't sit still, can't think straight, can't slow my mind down. I have hundreds of projects on my mind, and I realize that , more than likely, none will get done. Lately my life has been a fast track to nowhere. It has been like I've been on a merry-go-round, with variable speed, and no way to get off. It may speed up or slow down, but it doesn't go any where, and it doesn't stop so I can get off.

Welcome to Mike's world.

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