Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


Last night's meeting went well. Many people showed up in support of the current ministry, and a few were vocal. A small handful of the problem-causers were there, but after nearly eight years here at this church, the only issues they brought up were typical of any church, and irrelevant.

I would say there were 60 people in attendance. Not too bad for a church averaging 90 in attendance. Also it was a very slippery night, with snow and ice on the roads.

It was, however, very difficult to sit idly by while people talk about you for three hours. Criticism is hard enough; hearing it and not responding is even harder. Even the praises were difficult to take. I felt no emotion at all until afterwards, when I was alone in my office. Then a few tears flowed. But all in all, a good time was had by all.

My mania must have been under control, because I was completely in control. I only spoke a few words at the close, and they were well thought out and delivered. Trust me, this is not always the case; I usually come unglued. When I move over and let God drive, the ride always seem a lot smoother.

God bless us all!

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