I'm not sure what 's been happening; I think my surgery was a little tougher that I imagined. I've already explained how it went, and the problems I had with the meds. My air cast is finally off, but I have a hard time getting my shoe on. The foot is still swollen, and my toes doesn't bend, which makes putting it on quite a bit harder. Hopefully time will make it easier. I have a lot of trouble with my feet, and I only wear Danskos and Birkensocks. Their high arch support and stiff sole mkes them great for me.

But if you are reading this, it's not for the surgery story, and that isn't the reason behind this blog. I'll get back to my own personal hell; MI. Picture yourself climbing down a fire escape ladder; you know, the kind that doesn't go all the way to the ground. Getting the diagnosis of MI is like starting down the ladder. As long as you are holding on, you're still in control. You can occasionally even climb up a little at a time. However, once you feet leave the last rung, you are in trouble. You find yourself in a situation that is very difficult to get out of. Soon you are hanging off the last rung, and then you're only one step away; one step away from falling. At at that point there is n o return. At that point you have lost all control; you're life is out of your hands. That is where I am now.

Most days lately I feeel lost, like I'm trapped inside my head. (If you are MI, you;ll understand) I'm not very productive, and I'm frightened. With the economy the way it is, everyone's job is in jeopardy. I left my main careeer, manufacturing management, nearly 8 years ago, and that amount of time, plus my age, away makes me pretty much unhireable (sp)?

So tha's my story to date ...