Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Social Security - Round #1

For some reason, Social Security took only two months to deny my disability claim. Two weeks! I really don't get it.

Basically they say there are some things that I can do; things that don't require too much stooping, bending, crouching, crawling, kneeling or climbing. Although they admit that I can't return to the jobs I used to do, they claim I can do lighter and less demanding work.

I was very disappointed when I received this letter, because I know I cannot work. The problems with my mind alone prevent me from working, and they continue to worsen. I actually thought, "Well, I guess I'm not disabled. What is wrong with me that I think I'm actually disabled." Well, if I think that and I'm not, then that alone says there's something wrong with my mind.

Then I realized that I don't care what they think. I know what I know, the doctors tell me I have a serious mental illness. It's simply a matter of getting the word to SS in the appropriate manner.I must stop letting the opinions of others dictate who I am, and how I feel. After a lifetime of living this way, change will be difficult, to say the least. But, like they say, it's never too late to change.

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