Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

"The Times, They Are a Changin'"

In 1964 my parents took me to the Oak Ridge Nuclear Facility in Oak Ridge, Tennessee.(This town was built during the end of World War II, and remained a true "secret city" for 7 years. At its heighth, it was the 5th largest city in Tennessee, employing 75,000 people. And yet for 7 years it wasn't on any maps, the city entrances were guarded my military personnel At the time I didn't appreciate what what all had taken place there; all I was interested in was they cool science exhibits that kids could participate in.

I remember two in particular. The first involved a large, clear ball, about 18" in diameter, that had electrical charges shooting from side to side inside the ball. You would stand in front of the ball and place both hands on its surface. Eventhough you didn't feel a thing, the result was that your hair would stand on end, as long as you were in contact with the ball. There was a placque nearby explaining what this represented, and mentioned that it was explaining something about one of Einstein's theories. All that was important to me at the time was that it was funny. (What do you expect; I was only 7 years old.)

I can compare the other exhibit that I remember to having a booth set up so kids could taste lead-based paint chips, or when we used to hold our hands out in science class, as the teacher went around and dropped a bit of mercury into them, and we got to play with it for a while. Today the only people able to be around these items wear sealed white suits, each fitted with it own self-breathing apparatus.

This exhibit was very unique.It was a machine about 4' X 4' X 6', with a clear glass front, filled with a Rube Goldberg assortment of gears, ramps and what-not. Standing in front of this mechanism, you would get a dime coin, and place it into a coin slot on the front of the machine. The machine would come alive and light up as the coin would make its way back and forth, descending a little with each traverse. Somewhere during the process the coin disappeared, reappearing set in a 2' plastic disc. The coin finally dropped into a coin-return slot and, after running it under a geiger counter to verify that it was indeed radioactive, you dropped it into your pocket. It's amazing that my generation was able to have any children at all.

Times change, and with it so goes anything and everything which has the slightest chance of hurting us. We are so protected that we have a hard time living. I've determined that I will live my life, and what happens, happens, as long as it only happens to me.

No comments:

Post a Comment