I checked out four book from the local library last October, and forgot all about them. I mean forgot. Out of mind. Every once in a while, I'd remember, but by the time I could have done something about it (ie; return them), it was forgotten; week, after week, after week, on and on and on. I began receiving calls, and then notices in the mail, telling me the books were overdue, and needed to be returned.
I found out from the library in February '11 that the total due was over $30, which is close to a record for them. Finally the stars lined up and everything was in place so that I was finally willing AND able, at the same time.
There was one little problem with this otherwise fool-proof plan; I had sold two of the books a few months ago, at least I think I did. I sold almost all of my books, which totaled nearly 500, and I can't find two of the library books, so simple deduction would indicate that these books were sold.
So on Tuesday I loaded up the twp books and ventured out to the library. I walked up to the counter and laid all my cards on the table. When I told the clerk I needed to settle my account of over $30, she laughed and thought I was kidding. I wasn't and, about 20 minutes later, she had so kindly waived the now nearly $40 fine, and arranged to replace the two missing books to the tune of about $50.
The problem, my "first time", involved communicating the problem to the clerk. I told her of my mind problems, especially my memory over the past few months, and then it was as if I started acting out my illness, right there. I was actually acting like a mentally ill man acts; speech difficult to understand, wandering thoughts and expressions, stumbling and staring, etc. This was a very humbling experience
The really nice ending to this experience was that I walked away, not feeling embarrassed, but respected and cared for. This was a wonderful feeling. If only it was representative of most people. Maybe someday. Maybe.
Riding the Wave ... And the Trough
In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.
I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.
My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.