Riding the Wave ... And the Trough

I am mentally ill, diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I, OCD, ADHD, PTSD and a vitamin B12 deficiency (a key element in brain development). For over 12 years, I took anywhere from 5-8 psychotropic meds each day, and have been recently giving myself a monthly injection of B12.

In January 2012 I was hospitalized for depression, and management of my currrent med cocktail. Immediately all but two of my meds were discontinued and, after a few weeks of adjustment, and some near hospitalizations, things seem to be going much better.

I have been on permanent disability since January 2010, and am adjusting to life on a very limited income.

My prayer is that in walking with me during the ups and downs of Bipolar Disorder, you might find solace, and benefit through my experiences.

Friday, December 30, 2011


This afternoon "shit hit the fan" in the McKinney household. I had a major breakdown, and became violent, luckily toward things and not people. It scared me, it was exhausting and I didn't like it one bit. The problem is that it will happen again ... thus the name "bi-polar".

I contacted my pDoc and he put me on Celexa. It wasn't a medication replacement, but an addition to my current 6 drug regiment. A major side effect is sexual dysfunction, but that will have the same effect on me as a dead dog run over again by a car. Men who are on psychotropic medications could moonlight as eunuchs.

This is the second time it has happened in as many months. The next time I'll go to the hospital for a few days in an attempt to put a stop to this specific pattern.

This trip through life can get pretty rough ...

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