Here It Comes

Blah blah blah blah blah ... that is exactly how I feel right now. I knew it would happen, I just wasn't sure when. I have never gone this long without it raising it's ugly head once or twice.

Last spring I needed to be home, or nearby, all of the time. At first I needed to do things for Connie, or at least help her. Then there was a time, that continues today, when she doesn't want me too far away at night for too long. When she broke her wrist, I once again needed to help her out again.

However, with all of this said, I know I am going to crash or explode ... it's just a matter of time .................................................................................

Now I am still needed for big things, and she still wants me around; not gone at night, or for long periods of time during the day. For the first time I am able to "let my guard down" a bit. No longer driven by the need to help her as much as before, it seems there is now room for my bipo to appear.

I can feel it waiting at the gates, ready to pounce, or slowly creep, into my life without me having a clue. Fortunately my current med cocktail is one of my best so far, and keeps that nasty bastard at bay.

Another blessing that has come my way is the desire for creativity, and the ability to utilize it. I really enjoy the "eyes" that mania gives me. Through them things seem so much clearer, and I am able to see things differently, from a different angle or perspective, in a way I have never seen before. I am glad that has come back a bit ... but just not too far.

Full-Time to Part-Time Update

The Staff Pastor Parish Committee and our District Superintendent met on Monday, December
07 to finalize the plans of the church to make my position part-time, thus eliminating more than 1/2 of my salary and all benefits. Obviously this was a great concern, considering Connie's stroke and my rapidly declining health. Since Pastor's are not eligible for COBRA, if we lose insurance, we won't be able to get it again. (NOTE: Insurance is only available to fll-time pastors.)

Isn't it amazing how two lives can change entirely within the blink of an eye?

I spoke for about 20 minutes and then left the meeting. From what I heard about the 3 hour meeing, the District Superintendent said the following:

1. I have a one year contract as a full-time pastor, that doesn't end until June 31, 2010. The
church needs to honor that.
2. The Lay Leader, who was the instigator of all of the trouble, was told to step down from that
poaition.
3. I will be appointed to another full-time church (either one church at full-time, or two half-
time churches, which would equal a full-time charge.
4. When I am reappointed, the church will receive a part-time pastor.

I truly thank God for the way this has worked out. Eight years ago He called me into the ministry and, try as they may, they couldn't get me moved. This Spring God released me from this call at this church, so I wa able to trust that He would take care of me, just like He always has and always does.